Tuesday, January 11, 2011


I'm soooo not good with change. I'm that person that relishes routine. Not to the point of boredom but I like knowing whats around the corner. I hate surprises. I like to be prepared, or at least feel like I am. I used to be the kind of person who knew what she was going to wear the next day. Now I'm just like that with the boys and for me, throw on whatever's (hopefully) clean. Change is stressful. Our journey right now is all about change and we'll be living there for a bit to come.

I know change is not all bad. Change is necessary. It makes you grow and stretch, propel you forward instead of being stuck. It can be positive, even life changing. I want to look at it in the glass is half full kind of way and mostly I do. Its just change is change, and I find it stressful.

We are moving, in three short weeks.  This is a (mostly) very good thing. We are grateful that everything has come together and we have the opportunity of building a home which I am very excited about. We get to help design a home that hopefully will fit our family better for the future and I realize a lot of people never get that chance. I am so grateful that we are able to, so grateful. We are building an open floor plan ranch home that will be much more accessible than where we are now. We will be in a quiet cul de sac for the kids instead of towards the end of what has become a much busier street. A better school district and much closer commute to work for hubby which will hopefully translate to him being able to spend more time with his boys in the evening.

I know its all incredible!!! My only wish is that I could jump right from here to there. right now. Transition is hard. I'll be moving further away from my own mama which ugh, just stings. We'll still see eachother obviously but it will just be a further drive. My mama has been a constant and even though she works full time, she manages to get over to see us and the boys every single week. I know the move will make that just a bit harder, especially for the rest of winter and that makes me sad. I know we'll figure it out though.

We would have been "home-less" these next few months while we wait for our house to be built and yet need to be out of the one we've already sold. We looked briefly at what we would have had to pay to rent a place while we waited and all of the moving costs on top of it. We are incredibly blessed that we were saved that whole hassle when my in-laws offered to have us come stay with them during this transition. Talk about generous!!!! The house is only a few minutes from where we are building so the bonus of being able to watch the progress on the new house will be priceless! Now its just getting our house packed up and figuring out what things to bring with us during our wait. I'm worried how the boys will handle all the changes and then a couple months later, more change as we move again but thats tempered by the extra doting I know they will get from their grandparents in the meantime!

I'm also learning because of the move we are losing almost all of the boys therapists. This is another biggie. These people become your family. You see them more often then your "real" family a lot of the times. They are here every week, twice a week. You get to know them, they you. You start out just being therapy, and them showing you exercises and activities to help your children be the best they can be. You see them believing in your kids, and they end up loving your kids, you get to hear about theirs. Topics slip to the regular ins and outs of child rearing and you count on them as the amazing resource they are. Sometimes they are the only person outside of your spouse that you'll see that day. You look forward to them coming. They see you when you're not showered, the kitchen is still a mess, and yet its comfortable. They don't judge you and heck the people we have make me feel like I have my act together way more than I do. Its hard to say good-bye. Its hard to start these new relationships over again and hope that it "fits" this easy. You want the new people to just start out loving your kids, believing in all they can do right from the beginning. You don't want to have to start all over and explain everything they've been through to where they are now.

I know it will all work out in the end, maybe for the better even. Sometimes its good to have fresh eyes, every one has different strengths so maybe our new people will bring new experiences with them, things we haven't tried yet that might help. I know we are doing the right thing for our family, I know we are exactly where we need to be so all the changes are just going to have to be for the best.

Speaking of where they are now: We had their check up a few weeks ago at the pediatrician. Nicholas is 19 pounds and 29 inches long and Alex is 18 pounds and 26 inches long. I know they are little still at a year and a half but its amazing to me how much they've grown from that one and a half pounds. Both boys are doing great. Nicholas is still working hard at that walking business.

 He's letting go more and more and getting more sure of himself. The last few days he is practicing walking back and forth between Daddy and me and he gets the most satisfied look on his face like he just knows he's doing something great. We've been trying to get a video of him for awhile now, this isn't the best one but you get the idea. Something about getting the video out and he just sits right down usually. stinker.

Alex is doing great. He's working sooo hard on sitting by himself. He still needs one of his hands for balance but he's been quickly letting go with both hands to hurry up and clap before he loses his balance and he is so proud of himself when he does this. He's so strong and he's trying to pull himself up on everything. We got the best news which is his mobile stander has finally been approved and it should be arriving in the next week or so. I can't wait to see him in it again!!! He is back to wearing his eye patch a couple hours a day since his eye had been drifting again. The eye doctor wasn't concerned and said sometimes it can take a couple times before the eye is strong enough to go without.

Alex: I solemnly swear (to try) not to rip this patch off.

 He is also getting a neck brace next week to help with his torticollis. We had been making gains with his head tilt with exercises and stretching but now that he's getting older and more independent, he's not as agreeable about these things and so its time to try something new. He will wear the neck brace to try to re-train him what proper alignment should feel like. He'll wear it whenever he's awake for at least a month or two before we know if its helping. I resisted this a few months ago when it was suggested because I didn't want to do one more thing "to" him but I understand now that this is "for" him and hopefully we can help improve this while he's still young.

Here's some teaser pics but check back soon for the video (blogger is having issues)!
This is a toy the boys got for Christmas from Grandma Karen and Grandpa Fred. Nicholas is obsessed with it!!! Its the first thing he wants to play with after breakfast. He likes to ride it, push it, play the music. Its hysterical. The only thing Nicholas doesn't like is when Alex wants to ride it, push it or play its music.
Then we discovered they BOTH like it if they do it together. Nicholas LOVES pushing Alex on the Firetruck. and Alex LOVES it too. Its the cutest thing. ever.

Check back soon, trying to upload the video!!!!


Stephanie said...

Oh Holli, I feel your pain I truly do. We have recently decided to sell our home and find a spacious ranch for Nate. We live in a bi-level and it just isn't working right now (Nate has no where to go, we never use our family room downstairs, and I have about thrown my back out hauling his wheel chair up and down the stairs every time we go somewhere). I have a tiny (BIG) problem with anxiety and all the stress of what comes with moving is almost more than I can take. I can hear that God has His hand in all of what you are going through in the words you type, and I am holding fast that He will have His hand in our move, too. I am so happy for you-what a wonderful opportunity! Isn't it a relief to just know that you are giving them a home that is best suited for them? As much anxiety I get over moving, I KNOW in the end that it will be soooo much better for Nate. Loved the teaser pics-can't wait to see a video! Hugs to you all!

Joanna said...

Oh we are so alike! I struggle with change. I am also so blessed. And I love my momma being close by! :) I'm so happy that you guys have found a house that will better suit the boys and your family in the long run. We'd love to have that as well! Hang in there - I'm sure it will all smooth out soon and you'll bet all settled in in no time. Much love! (And those pics are adorable - can't wait to see the video!)

Jill said...

Ugh! Parallel lives here too! We're looking for a new house and as much as I love looking, I'm already anxious. I love living around the corner from my parents and I LOVE our neighbourhood, but change is sometimes good right?? We need a different house and a different school zone for Kingsley.
They say moving is one of the most stressful things in life! Good luck with your double move. I hope it's not that bad on you guys.

LOVE the walking video and the last few pictures made me LOL!

Scasmflops said...

How exciting!!!! I know as you said it will be a process and yuck!!! I hate changes too but how exciting at the same time... You really will get to customize what is best which will be so very helpful in the future. YAY!!! Love the eyepatch picture--- what a cute one with his hand up. :) And walking and weight gain... how awesome!